THE GOOD MEN PROJECT: 21ST-CENTURY MASCULINITY

Join “5 Guys Talking” about Men of Action

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:02:25 -0400

Join “5 Guys Talking” about Men of Action:

These guys rock: meet men who take the lead in helping others

These guys rock: meet men who take the lead in helping others, Friday at 2PM EDST.

Fred Rogers said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”

Helping others doesn’t have to be your job—it might be a character trait or a calling, or something you simply decide to do—but whatever it is, when a crisis happens, these are the men who do something about it.

You can see last month’s discussion with Dr. Adam Sheck here on 5 Guys Talking: The Second Half of Manhood. This month, we’re having a panel this time with several invited guests, as well as our Premium Membership, and hosted by GMP Managing Editor Justin Cascio.

To join this event:

Join the GMP. You must be a Premium Member of The Good Men Project. See the Registration page for more details.
Request an invitation. Email joanna@goodmenproject.com to request an invitation to the Hangout when it happens.
Circles. Once you’re a member, put Joanna Schroeder in your Google+ circles so you can receive the invitation to the Hangout, when it happens.
Be there. Be online Friday, May 17 at 2PM Eastern Time to join this live event.

This will be recorded and posted for free public viewing by all, but to be a part of the live discussion, you must be a member and follow the instructions above, as well as additional instructions that will be emailed to you with your confirmation.

Our invited guests:

David Wagner is an architect and missionary of over 30 years experience.

Kendall Ruth is a writer, photographer, and certified first responder, as well as a writer for the GMP.

Kile Ozier is a creative director, and a gay man who supported countless friends through the AIDS crisis in the 80s, finding beds for desperately ill men who were cast out of their homes. We’re also lucky to call him a writer for the GMP.

Miles Solay is the lead singer of activist rock group Outernational, about whom Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine said, “There’s part New York City Rock & Roll band in them, and then there’s the myriad of world music influences that drive these songs… Outernational is an uncompromisingly politically revolutionary band.¨

You—Our GMP Premium Members support The Good Men Project mission, underwriting the conversation we’re having on what it means to be a good man in the 21st century.

GET THE INFO»

Image credit: World Can’t Wait/Flickr

Men More Likely to Suffer Eating Disorders in Wake of Sexual Harassment

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:57:00 -0400

Men More Likely to Suffer Eating Disorders in Wake of Sexual Harassment:

Eating disorders are not just a female problem—-and neither is sexual harassment. In a new study, the two are linked and, to the surprise of many, men are more likely to suffer from them than women.

When the media talks about eating disorders, it is most often in relation to how “too-skinny” or “too-heavy” women are poor role models with poor eating habits. But it is not new news that men suffer from the same eating disorders, and in a new study by the University of Michigan, these harmful behaviors may be linked to sexual harassment.

This is another area that men are often forgotten about because of the “macho man” stereotype, but the research team led by NiCole Buchanan found that men who had experienced sexual harassment were much more likely to engage in harmful eating behaviors than women who had been sexually harassed. The study is the first to examine the connection between sexual harassment and eating disorders in men.

More To The Story

Should You Tell Your Girlfriend, Wife, Partner, Family and Friends that You’re Suffering with Mental Illness?

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:54:16 -0400

Should You Tell Your Girlfriend, Wife, Partner, Family and Friends that You’re Suffering with Mental Illness?:

Andy Behrman knows firsthand that for men, there are few things more taboo than admitting to mental illness.

Andy Behrman knows firsthand that for men, there are few things more taboo than admitting to mental illness.

Despite the fact that it’s 2013, American men are struggling silently to talk about subjects they think are taboo. Of course, what is taboo depends on what is en vogue at the moment. Thirty years ago, men didn’t openly discuss masturbation. Today, it’s not a big deal to talk about “whacking off” (formerly referred to as “choking the chicken”). In fact, 95% of single men admit to masturbating (with 89% of single women, not far behind), while 70% of married men and women admit to masturbating.

While depictions in the media, in film and on television still portray masturbation as disgusting, unhealthy, immature and even desperate (think of the characters in films like “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Something about Mary”, who are regarded as pathetic because of their preoccupation with onanism)—curiously the taboo of talking about it has faded. As a young kid, I remember a tremendous fear of going insane or expecting early death for pleasuring myself (nonetheless I took the risk). But men have had a sexual liberation when it comes to talking about masturbation: it’s mental illness that keeps so many guilty and shamed.

It turns out that men are more than four times more likely to admit to daily masturbation than to having a mental illness.

***

More than 25% of men suffer with mental illness, although the number may be even higher because so many cases go undiagnosed and therefore unreported. In many cases, men would rather turn to alcohol and street drugs than to admit to suffering with mental illness and seek treatment. Men are also less likely than women to say, “I can’t meet you today, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist.” Men just don’t discuss their diagnoses, therapy or their psych meds openly with their partners, family and friends, not to mention their colleagues or employers. There’s a tremendous amount of shame associated with mental illness as it conjures up frightening images of weakness.

Admitting to struggling with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic attacks, or less frequently, schizophrenia, is a shameful secret that is killing American men every day. Suicide is the eleventh leading cause of death in the United States and 90% of men who take their lives are battling mental illness.

“Mental illness is not a casserole illness; don’t expect people to be stopping by with food.”

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When Life Hands You Lemons, See Lemonade

Fri, 03 May 2013 22:15:00 -0400

When Life Hands You Lemons, See Lemonade :

If you can see the potential in your life, you are ready to be inspired. http://ht.ly/kHkMN —- Wendy Lynne

I recently read an article that talked about how so much of life is about finding the lemonade in the bag of lemons that you are handed right now. The difference from all the other inspirational messages is that it stressed seeing your successes in the here and now.

My Version of Our Story — Alyssa Royse

Fri, 03 May 2013 21:52:47 -0400

My Version of Our Story — Alyssa Royse:

The moment that we engage with others, we become characters in their story, says writer Alyssa Royse.

The idea that anything in our lives is inherently private is something that makes no sense to me, in a life that is lived with others. As deeply intimate as the stories of our lives are to us, and as much as we see ourselves as their lone star, we are never the only characters in them. We are each the stars of our own versions of the stories we live with others. Two—or more—characters living the same events, each their own wildly different versions, with different morals, different motives, different lessons, different endings. In my version I may be a romantic savior. In someone else’s a treacherous shrew. Though the events are the same, the casting and directing is inherently different.

The moment that we engage with others, we become characters in their story. Our story becomes theirs. Forever. There is no delete button for impressions left on the lives of others. You can’t take them back, or even stake a claim.

This, of course, is the hazard of loving—or even knowing—writers

Liberals and Gun Nuts: Move Beyond the Stereotypes — The Good Men Project

Fri, 03 May 2013 20:22:50 -0400

Liberals and Gun Nuts: Move Beyond the Stereotypes — The Good Men Project:

Liberals and Gun Nuts: Move Beyond Stereotypes —The debate over gun control and 2nd Amendment rights is us vs them. http://ht.ly/kHgnw

A Surprising Job Offer from Mother Teresa

Fri, 03 May 2013 13:52:53 -0400

A Surprising Job Offer from Mother Teresa :

A Surprising Job Offer from Mother Teresa — Snake Bloomstrand —- http://ht.ly/kGCcE

“I wanted to meet Mother Teresa,” Father Bennie explained. “I was leading a group on a tour of India and decided I had seen the slums of Calcutta as a tourist one too many times. I left my group in the capable hands of a local priest and set off early in the morning on my own solitary pilgrimage.”

Ask the Feminist Answers: Definitions, Recommendations, and Media Violence Against Men

Thu, 02 May 2013 23:01:38 -0400

Ask the Feminist Answers: Definitions, Recommendations, and Media Violence Against Men :

HeatherN tackles the first round of questions in our new series, Ask the Feminist. http://ht.ly/kF70h #feminism

Editor’s note: This is the first set of answers from a new series called Ask the Feminist, headed up by our friendly feminist friend, HeatherN. To learn more about this series,see the original post here.

This first series of questions for Ask the Feminist have been really great. Since I can’t really answer everything in one article, I’ve chosen a few questions I think would be good to start. And, let me tell you, I had a hard time narrowing it down. So, if I didn’t answer your question, feel free to ask it again. And, of course, if you have a new question, don’t hesitate to ask it. You can write it in the comments below or you can e-mail me at theblissfollower@gmail.com. So, now for the answers:

Governor Christie Changes Stance on ‘Good Samaritan’ Law

Thu, 02 May 2013 21:41:00 -0400

Governor Christie Changes Stance on ‘Good Samaritan’ Law :

The new law would offer protection to victims of drug overdose who call for help.

Governor Chris Christie has done an about-face on his earlier stance concerning a proposed “Good Samaritan” bill that would, “allow drug overdose victims to call 911 without fear of legal repercussions.” According to the Huffington Post, this decision by the New Jersey Governor:

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I Overshare Because I Care

Thu, 02 May 2013 19:50:43 -0400

I Overshare Because I Care :

I Overshare Because I Care —Accused of revealing too much, Aussie Reservoir Dad prefers disclosure over discretion http://ht.ly/kEWzU

Wilkine Brutus explains why people outside of your race may all look the same to you.

Thu, 02 May 2013 19:33:08 -0400

Wilkine Brutus explains why people outside of your race may all look the same to you. :

Wilkine Brutus explains why people outside of your race may all look the same to you. — http://ht.ly/kEVo3

Asians Look Alike (And So Do You)

Study of Men’s Falling Income Cites Single Parents

Thu, 02 May 2013 19:20:26 -0400

Study of Men’s Falling Income Cites Single Parents:

Study of Men’s Falling Income Cites Single Parents —How Do We Reverse the Cycle? http://ht.ly/kEUJo

According to a study by David H. Autor, a professor at theMassachusetts Institute of Technology, and Melanie Wasserman, one of the reasons that many men are be struggling in the workplace may be their family situation when growing up

The Young Turks: Gay Teens Killed and Tortured in ‘Conversion’ Camps (VIDEO) — The Good Men Project

Thu, 02 May 2013 15:29:02 -0400

The Young Turks: Gay Teens Killed and Tortured in ‘Conversion’ Camps (VIDEO) — The Good Men Project:

Gay Teens Killed & Tortured in ‘Conversion’ Camps #VIDEO @TYTNation @TYTonCurrent #TYTLive @cenkuygur @anakasparian http://ht.ly/kEvpN

Three “gay and effeminate” teens have died after being starved, tortured and killed at a camp that promised to turn them into “men”.

The Good Men Project —Some of the newest, and best...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:57:20 -0400

The Good Men Project —Some of the newest, and best...:

The Good Men Project - A social movement from the front lines of modern manhood.

Jason Collins: Redefining What Comes Next in Masculinity and Sports

American team sports has its first, openly gay pro athlete.

goodmenproject.com

I’m a Male Nurse – So What?

Brett Adamson became a nurse because he wanted to help people, but he quickly discovered that as a man, you’re never just a nurse, you’re always a “male nurse.”

goodmenproject.com

The Measure of a Man in the Digital Age — ht.ly via @GoodMenProject

The Measure of a Man in the Digital Age

goodmenproject.com

On Turning 40

Gint Aras turns 40 today, and his wishes are simple.

goodmenproject.com

Man Down: A Tribute to Earl Silverman

Earl Silverman, a Canadian men’s rights campaigner who ran the country’s only known safe house for abused men, died on Friday.

goodmenproject.com

Watching History Unfold Through ‘Mad Men’

The most recent episode of Mad Men reminded Steve Jaeger of what it was like in America when Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated.

goodmenproject.com

University of New Hampshire Athlete Ends Track Career to Save a Life

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:45:39 -0400

University of New Hampshire Athlete Ends Track Career to Save a Life:

Cameron Lyle’s mom, Christine Sciacca said, ““He’s my hero. I couldn’t be more proud of him and how he’s been so humble about it.”

21-year-old Cameron Lyle, of Plaistow, Massachusetts, made a life altering decision last month. He decided to give up his last season as an athlete at the University of New Hampshire to have the opportunity to save a complete stranger’s life. As a senior, the final two meets of the season will also be the last two of his career. But as the Eagle Tribune reports, Lyle has decided to forgo finishing out his track season to donate bone marrow to an “anonymous recipient” who would die without it.

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What Is Objectification?

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:31:20 -0400

What Is Objectification? :

When a psychologist promoting her new book is interviewed by a Playmate for Playboy radio, she’s challenged to answer the question at the root of porn’s very existence.

I was recently interviewed at Playboy radio for my new book The Men on My Couch, True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy. I was at the end of a media blitz, and enjoying the lull of familiar questions like, “Why did you write this book?” and, “What do men secretly want?”

Chew — The Good Men Project

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:45:20 -0400

Chew — The Good Men Project:

Colin Berry remembers the summer when he went from boyhood to manhood.

In July of my sixteenth summer I try chew for the first time, in the back of the Trojan Theatre with Eric, who has just pried the foil pouch apart and tucked a plug neatly in his mouth.

We have a big cup to spit in.

MORE TO THE STORY…

Divorce, Soul Mates and the Puzzle of Life — The Good Men Project

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 19:02:08 -0400

Divorce, Soul Mates and the Puzzle of Life — The Good Men Project:

Tasher meditates on healing following divorce, and the big picture of life.

Forrest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolates.” I prefer Squire Rushnell’s idea that life is like a big jigsaw puzzle. All the pieces have their place, and every single one is important in our life for some reason. I am one piece in the puzzle; there are pieces that connect to mine, one of which is a soul mate. As with any puzzle, when you have the correct piece they fall in place very quickly, and there is no need to try to make them fit.

The puzzle is a blueprint for our lives. I do not believe people come into our lives by coincidence. Every one of them has a purpose, some large and others small. People who spend a short time in our lives often have a profound effect.

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Boy Scouts Half-Pitched Tent Collapses Under Inadequecy

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 14:37:10 -0400

Boy Scouts Half-Pitched Tent Collapses Under Inadequecy :

To tell a gay kid they’re allowed to join, but that a gay adult is unfit to be a leader is a backhanded shove into the closet.

Being gay and a former Scout, I’ve followed the recent issues regarding the Boy Scouts of America and their stance on LGBT members very closely. I was excited by the initial prospect of the BSA opening their membership, and later, angrily duped by their back-pedaling.

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In Cambodia, sexually abused boys struggle to be believed.

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 14:15:00 -0400

In Cambodia, sexually abused boys struggle to be believed. :

In Cambodia, sexually abused boys struggle to be believed.

-Phnom Penh

The little boy didn’t have proof the first time. That he told about the experience in graphic detail wasn’t enough. After all, the accused was like a family member. And the boy, well, was a boy.