May 2013
13 posts
Join “5 Guys Talking” about Men of Action →
These guys rock: meet men who take the lead in helping others
These guys rock: meet men who take the lead in helping others, Friday at 2PM EDST.
Fred Rogers said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”
Helping others doesn’t have to be your job—it might be a character trait...
Men More Likely to Suffer Eating Disorders in Wake... →
Eating disorders are not just a female problem—-and neither is sexual harassment. In a new study, the two are linked and, to the surprise of many, men are more likely to suffer from them than women.
When the media talks about eating disorders, it is most often in relation to how “too-skinny” or “too-heavy” women are poor role models with poor eating habits. But it is not new news...
Should You Tell Your Girlfriend, Wife, Partner,... →
Andy Behrman knows firsthand that for men, there are few things more taboo than admitting to mental illness.
Andy Behrman knows firsthand that for men, there are few things more taboo than admitting to mental illness.
Despite the fact that it’s 2013, American men are struggling silently to talk about subjects they think are taboo. Of course, what is taboo depends on what is en vogue at the...
When Life Hands You Lemons, See Lemonade →
If you can see the potential in your life, you are ready to be inspired. http://ht.ly/kHkMN —- Wendy Lynne I recently read an article that talked about how so much of life is about finding the lemonade in the bag of lemons that you are handed right now. The difference from all the other inspirational messages is that it stressed seeing your successes in the here and now.
My Version of Our Story — Alyssa Royse →
The moment that we engage with others, we become characters in their story, says writer Alyssa Royse.
The idea that anything in our lives is inherently private is something that makes no sense to me, in a life that is lived with others. As deeply intimate as the stories of our lives are to us, and as much as we see ourselves as their lone star, we are never the only characters in them. We are...
Liberals and Gun Nuts: Move Beyond the Stereotypes... →
Liberals and Gun Nuts: Move Beyond Stereotypes —The debate over gun control and 2nd Amendment rights is us vs them. http://ht.ly/kHgnw
A Surprising Job Offer from Mother Teresa →
A Surprising Job Offer from Mother Teresa — Snake Bloomstrand —- http://ht.ly/kGCcE
“I wanted to meet Mother Teresa,” Father Bennie explained. “I was leading a group on a tour of India and decided I had seen the slums of Calcutta as a tourist one too many times. I left my group in the capable hands of a local priest and set off early in the morning on my own solitary pilgrimage.”
Ask the Feminist Answers: Definitions,... →
HeatherN tackles the first round of questions in our new series, Ask the Feminist. http://ht.ly/kF70h #feminism
Editor’s note: This is the first set of answers from a new series called Ask the Feminist, headed up by our friendly feminist friend, HeatherN. To learn more about this series,see the original post here.
This first series of questions for Ask the Feminist have been really great....
Governor Christie Changes Stance on ‘Good... →
The new law would offer protection to victims of drug overdose who call for help.
Governor Chris Christie has done an about-face on his earlier stance concerning a proposed “Good Samaritan” bill that would, “allow drug overdose victims to call 911 without fear of legal repercussions.” According to the Huffington Post, this decision by the New Jersey Governor:
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I Overshare Because I Care →
I Overshare Because I Care —Accused of revealing too much, Aussie Reservoir Dad prefers disclosure over discretion http://ht.ly/kEWzU
Wilkine Brutus explains why people outside of your... →
Wilkine Brutus explains why people outside of your race may all look the same to you. — http://ht.ly/kEVo3 Asians Look Alike (And So Do You)
Study of Men’s Falling Income Cites Single Parents →
Study of Men’s Falling Income Cites Single Parents —How Do We Reverse the Cycle? http://ht.ly/kEUJo
According to a study by David H. Autor, a professor at theMassachusetts Institute of Technology, and Melanie Wasserman, one of the reasons that many men are be struggling in the workplace may be their family situation when growing up
The Young Turks: Gay Teens Killed and Tortured in... →
Gay Teens Killed & Tortured in ‘Conversion’ Camps #VIDEO @TYTNation @TYTonCurrent #TYTLive @cenkuygur @anakasparian http://ht.ly/kEvpN
Three “gay and effeminate” teens have died after being starved, tortured and killed at a camp that promised to turn them into “men”.
April 2013
20 posts
The Good Men Project —Some of the newest, and... →
The Good Men Project - A social movement from the front lines of modern manhood.
Jason Collins: Redefining What Comes Next in Masculinity and Sports
American team sports has its first, openly gay pro athlete.
goodmenproject.com
I’m a Male Nurse – So What?
Brett Adamson became a nurse because he wanted to help people, but he quickly discovered that as a man, you’re never...
University of New Hampshire Athlete Ends Track... →
Cameron Lyle’s mom, Christine Sciacca said, ““He’s my hero. I couldn’t be more proud of him and how he’s been so humble about it.”
21-year-old Cameron Lyle, of Plaistow, Massachusetts, made a life altering decision last month. He decided to give up his last season as an athlete at the University of New Hampshire to have the opportunity to save a complete stranger’s life. As a senior, the final...
What Is Objectification? →
When a psychologist promoting her new book is interviewed by a Playmate for Playboy radio, she’s challenged to answer the question at the root of porn’s very existence.
I was recently interviewed at Playboy radio for my new book The Men on My Couch, True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy. I was at the end of a media blitz, and enjoying the lull of familiar questions like, “Why did you...
Chew — The Good Men Project →
Colin Berry remembers the summer when he went from boyhood to manhood.
In July of my sixteenth summer I try chew for the first time, in the back of the Trojan Theatre with Eric, who has just pried the foil pouch apart and tucked a plug neatly in his mouth.
We have a big cup to spit in.
MORE TO THE STORY…
Divorce, Soul Mates and the Puzzle of Life — The... →
Tasher meditates on healing following divorce, and the big picture of life.
Forrest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolates.” I prefer Squire Rushnell’s idea that life is like a big jigsaw puzzle. All the pieces have their place, and every single one is important in our life for some reason. I am one piece in the puzzle; there are pieces that connect to mine, one of which is a soul mate. As...
Boy Scouts Half-Pitched Tent Collapses Under... →
To tell a gay kid they’re allowed to join, but that a gay adult is unfit to be a leader is a backhanded shove into the closet.
Being gay and a former Scout, I’ve followed the recent issues regarding the Boy Scouts of America and their stance on LGBT members very closely. I was excited by the initial prospect of the BSA opening their membership, and later, angrily duped by their back-pedaling.
...
In Cambodia, sexually abused boys struggle to be... →
In Cambodia, sexually abused boys struggle to be believed.
-Phnom Penh
The little boy didn’t have proof the first time. That he told about the experience in graphic detail wasn’t enough. After all, the accused was like a family member. And the boy, well, was a boy.
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Men’s Rights Feminism and the Judgement of Solomon →
Understanding the importance of conversation is a bit tricky. You have to see it as something that you are creating in partnership with others. You have to understand the redemptive power that conversation and storytelling holds. That has to matter to you.
WHY?
I Want the World to See The Man I See in Myself →
I take my selfies because I am that guy who, unless he takes the picture or suggests it, doesn’t get his picture taken.
Last week at an apartment party in Chicago’s Andersonville neighborhood on the North side, I whipped out my iPhone 5, told the folks at the gathering to press together, and clicked away. Simple act, happens at least a hundred times a day, and I completed the ritual by posting...
In It For The Long Haul: 20 Kickass Songs About... →
Songs about new attraction and lust pack every jukebox and radio playlist. Rarer are the songs that consider the long haul of enduring love.
What’s more intoxicating than new love?
Parents! This Craftlace Children’s Product Has... →
Imagine my surprise when I bought a little Craftlace lanyard kit for my son and found it has something extra special inside the box. LEAD.
You know Craftlace, those little plastic weaving kits for making lanyards, keychains, backpack accessories and so on? You’ve probably seen them in the craft department at your local WalMart. (I guess that should have been my first clue.)
How I Went From Being ‘Lindsay’ to ‘Silas’ →
“I always felt like I was a fraud, like the name didn’t belong to me — it belonged to someone else, and I needed to give it back.”
The Battle They Didn’t Choose: His Wife’s Fight... →
The Battle They Didn’t Choose Take a moment and watch this #video. Warning: you’ll want to have a tissue nearby. http://ht.ly/jUOf1
Giving Your Kids Comfort Provides a Lifelong... →
Jason Greene finds that simply being there may be the best consolation
When you are a kid, there is no safer feeling than being held in your parents arms. I remember waking up from horrible nightmares and walking by my parents’ bedroom, in hopes that they would wake up, come to my aid, and free me from whatever haunted me during the night. My mother picking me up seemed to heal the broken bones...
How Teens Drink →
Before the energy drink slash cocktail and butt-chugging, there was “The Watermelon Crawl” and “Mr. Boston’s.”
As an adolescent, I considered myself to be fairly straight-laced. The son of an authoritarian, principal father and schoolteacher mother, I was obedient and possessed very few rebellious bones in my body. I read my Bible, played sports, and got good grades in school. Hell, I...
A Gentlemen’s Theory: Keep Your Favorite Pornstars... →
What men talk about when we talk about porn.
“She’s hotter than hot! She’s amazing. She’s a dream “— revealed my friend, who we’ll call Mellow Yellow.
I’m not sure what compelled Mellow Yellow to tell me about his favorite pornstar, but I thanked him for this hot tip. After all, I was not familiar with her work, and I’m admirer of the pornographic arts. Though she was no senior citizen,...
I Can Finally Say I Am Proud to Be a Man →
A lifetime of homophobia had beaten down Larry Best, but with the help of a friend, he has regained pride in his manhood.
I first wrote about myself in a construction paper bound booklet bearing the title ABOUT ME.
Each of the few pages had a crayon drawing and a sentence or two about some aspect of my 10 or 11 year old self. My stated career goal was to be an astronaut, a common enough...
Convo-Graphic: The Truth About Men and Sexual... →
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As someone who was sexually abused by both men and women and who has very close relationships with male survivors of sexual violence, I am both fascinated and troubled by the themes about gender and sexual violence in traditional media, blogs, and general conversation. All too often, sexual violence is viewed as something that takes place between men and women not something that impacts men...
Hidden Epidemic: Why One Group of Americans is... →
Lauren Chief Elk speaks of the brutal sexual violence crushing Native American communities
Human Trafficking & Abortion: Not the Same Thing,... →
The constant link to equate human trafficking with abortion is harmful to the one that’s actually a crime.
Healing From Abuse – Roads to Recovery →
David Pittman reviews some of the therapeutic options for recovery from sexual abuse—from the traditional to the experimental.
“Childhood Sexual Abuse” Three words that ignite a maelstrom of emotions and fears. Terror, anger, hate, betrayal, shame, guilt, blame.
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March 2013
53 posts
Open Thread: What Have You Bounced Back From? →
You thought it was going to wreck you for good, but it didn’t. What was it?
Support Letters Wanted: South-South Institute on... →
Want to help male survivors of sexual abuse? Here’s a great opportunity.
Editor’s Note: The piece below was forwarded to me by Alastair Hilton of First Step Cambodia, an organization that offers support to sexually abused boys, young men and their families. It was written by Chris Dolan, organizer of the South-South Institute on Sexual Violence Against Men & Boys in Conflict &...
Men Spend Less on Porn Than Women Do — The Good... →
Although the straight female audience is eight times larger, the gay male porn market is enormous in comparison. What porn are women using?
Rape Culture and Predator Theory — The Good Men... →
Cups used in trial to of Trent Mays and Ma’Like Richardson – AP Photo
Heather N examines the ways in which rape culture is at work on rapists, as well as society as a whole and examines whether Predator Theory would cover the Steubenville rapists.
“No one is an unjust villain in his own mind. Even – perhaps even especially - those who are the worst of us.” – Jim Butcher, Turn Coat
One of the...
The Mayor of the Locker Room [Fiction] →
“His position is unofficial and unpaid, but nevertheless he takes the post seriously.” Fiction from Max Ross.
The sauna was too hot, and the Mayor of the Locker Room was displeased. Evidently someone had messed with the thermostat—within ten minutes the temperature had jumped from 180° to 190°, and was still rising. The Mayor entered the sauna, and the air cooled—dissolved, is what it felt...
Why We Sleep Together →
Why do we share a bed with the one we love?
It is said that Rene Descartes developed the Cartesian coordinate system while lying in bed watching a fly crawl across the ceiling of his room. While no stroke of genius, I developed the thoughts below while lying tucked beneath the same set of bedclothes on the same mattress as my girlfriend—writhing in the excruciating pain of non-sleep.
My main...
100 Words from Men on Love: 4/6 — The Good Men... →
100 Words from Men on Love: 4/6 —Love is in the air. —- #CallsForSubmissions http://ht.ly/jiOC9
Love is in the air.
Call it flash nonfiction. In a hundred words, tell us something about love. Possible subjects include:
Your first kiss
Talking to your son about his first kiss, either before or after it happens
Something your partner does that lets you know you’re loved
How you show...
Rape Culture in the US Military, NPR’s Harrowing... →
“I’ve never met one victim who was able to report the crime and still retain their military career,” she says. “Not one.”
As the Steubenville rape trial coverage sparks a national conversation about rape, it is important that we connect the dots between what happened in Steubenville and what is happening throughout our culture. This week National Public Radio is reporting on the rape of men and...
Drew Griffiths keeps 7 lessons at the forefront of... →
Drew Griffiths keeps 7 lessons at the forefront of his life. Here they are.
I feel like a bit of a fraud writing this blog post. I don’t pretend to be any kind of especially positive or successful type of guy who is in any way better than anyone else. But I have read a few books on psychology, cognitive behavioral therapy and Buddhism. I’m also a big fan of Dale Carnegie’s books. Just in case...
Stop Waiting for Things to Get Better →
Face it: Oprah’s not calling, and not much will change in your life without taking different action.
The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages... →
A list of parenting action items, created in the hope that we can raise a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives.
So You’re Tired of Hearing About “Rape Culture”? →
TRIGGER WARNING: The following includes descriptions, photos, and video that may serve as a trigger for victims of sexual violence. Please advise when sharing.
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Publisher’s Note: Comments on this post will be heavily moderated.
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Someone asked me today, “What is ‘rape culture’ anyway? I’m tired of hearing about it.”
Yeah, I hear ya. I’m tired of talking about it. But I’m going to keep...
What We Wore — →
Dress Left, Dress Right: What We Once Wore to Work Said Who We Thought We Were, But No More
My Vasectomy, My Life-Insurance →
A humorous meditation on the impermanence of things like fertility, power, satisfaction and life.
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What To Do With Your Kid's Crappy Artwork — →
It’s cute, and developmental, and important, and precious. But not all of it. Not all the time. There should be quotas.
Dad Overhears Son’s Plans to Come Out, Writes... →
Dad Overhears Son’s Plans to Come Out, Writes Loving Note —http://ht.ly/j1OKO These are the moments that count to our children. The ones that matter. The tiniest gestures that become turning points and define us to these creatures whose lives we’re charged with trying not to screw up too badly.
